Breakdown
by ayame88
Summary: When Shepard loses her title, James is there to help her through it.


They took her ship, stripped away her rank, and effectively made her into a civilian again. You might as well say they took her life away from her. In the courtroom, she simply stood still and listened as they dismissed her claims, called her sanity into question, and took away the things she fought like hell to earn. To everyone else she looked indifferent, maybe even uncaring, but Lt. James Vega saw through all that. He saw the wall slowly beginning to crack and crumble.

With every step back towards her cell, it became harder and harder for former Commander Andrea Shepard to hold it together. A muscle in her right eye began to twitch. Her right hand began to shake and she had to clench it into a fist to make it stop. Her breathing slowly went from deep and controlled to shallow and slightly frantic. She was slowly starting to lose control.

When the door closed after Anderson left, the dam finally broke. There was one tear, then two. A few shaky steps towards the window on her left, and then she broke. Her legs grew weak and refused to support her weight any longer. James was there to catch her before she hit the floor. He gripped her upper arms in his hands as they both slowly sank to the floor on their knees. Her body shook with the combined force of her shallow breaths and her vain attempt to hold in the tears.

James wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in close for a hug. Shepard buried her face in the space between James' shoulder and neck and she did something she hadn't done for years.

She cried.

She cried for the loss of the ship that had become a home to her and the crew she believe she would never see again. She cried for the loss of a title she worked so long and so hard to receive. She cried for the lives she couldn't save, the ones taken by her own hands, and the ones that the Reapers would surely take whenever they arrived.

James let her cry. He never said a word because no words were needed. She wasn't one to accept the usual platitudes and he wasn't the type of person to give them. He simply let her cry until his shirt was soaked and his knees were screaming with pain from being in one position for too long. When her breathing finally slowed to a pace that could be considered normal, he pulled back a bit to look at her. Her eyes were puffy and red and every now and then a stray tear would fall. Her nose was running a bit and her hair had started to escape from the tight bun that she normally kept it in. Shepard had never looked more beautiful to him. Looking back on this moment, he would realize that this was the moment he started to fall in love with her.

After a few moments, Shepard took a deep breath and reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry. You didn't need to see that." Shepard said, her eyes dropping to the floor in embarrassment.

"What are you apologizing for," James said slightly confused. "Shepard, you have been through hell and back more times than anyone knows. You just went through a trial where every aspect of your life and career was put under a microscope, where your actions and sanity were called into question. You just had to watch as a group of people who haven't been on the front lines for years stripped you of everything you busted your ass for years to get. If anyone deserves a moment to let that frustration out, it's definitely you."

James put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up so she had to look him in the eye. "You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I'm honored you allowed me to offer what little bit of support I could."

"You're right. I really did need that." Shepard said with a small smile. She would later admit to herself that she did feel better. For the first time in months her head was clear and it felt like a weight had been removed from her chest and shoulders. "Thank you James."

"It's not a problem Shepard." A small smile crept over his face as he slowly stood up. As he held out a hand to help her up, he said "Although, I think you owe me a new shirt."

Shepard let out a small laugh as she took his hand and stood, "It's just a couple of tears James. Your precious shirt will be just fine, I promise."

"I don't know Lola, I think you got some snot on there too." James said as they slowly made their way to the door.

Shepard let out a bark of laughter and slapped him on the shoulder. "Oh shut up! I wasn't crying that hard!" James stopped right before they got to the door and her straight in the eyes with what he hoped was a straight face. It was clear by the smile that was spreading over Shepard's face that he was failing miserably and they both soon dissolved into laughter.

After they both calmed down, James turned to Shepard and asked "Are you gonna be ok?"

She stopped and thought about that for a minute. Yes, it had been a completely shitty day but she wouldn't let this break her. Even without her ship and her title, she would find a way to help. She knew without a doubt that the Reapers were on their way and they needed to prepare. This was only a hurdle that she needed to jump. She would not let this be the end. She _could not_ let this be the end. After a few moments of silence, she took a deep breath and said "I will be."

James smiled, gave her a salute, and then turned to leave. He knew that Shepard was still hurting, but she would eventually be ok. She was a fighter and there was no way in hell she'd let something like that keep her down for long. He only hoped that when she started to fight again, he would be right by her side.


End file.
